I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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