stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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