i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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