Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
