somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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