Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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