This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
