When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
