almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
