we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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