Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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