I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
