What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
