You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
