I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
