What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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