it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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