She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
