So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
