So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize