she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
