It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize