i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
