HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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