Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize