True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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