He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want to make out with him forever
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
