please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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