Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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