Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
