Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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