They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
