So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need to wash the frat house off of me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
