you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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