Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
