i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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