Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
