I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
