I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
MIDGETS
????
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
