Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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