I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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