well you can't waste a boner
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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