So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
