wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Of course I have a pirate flag
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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