You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
