There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
