I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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