hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dicks are not precious.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
