I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
