So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
