I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
