so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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