i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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