I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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