I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Success! We fucked roommates!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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