Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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