She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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