How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You dont lie about slip and slides
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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