Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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