You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
